The
Ascent
Since
I was a child, I have dreamed about climbing to the top of Mount Everest. I watched
a show on The Discovery Channel where they showed an episode about a woman who
spent several days climbing to the top of Mount Everest and it inspired me to
want to accomplish that as well. Thinking about the journey, the steps I would
take, and the experiences I would go through, excites me. As I sit here,
thinking about how amazing it would be to climb to the beautiful peak of that
mountain top, I realize there will be triumphs and struggles along the way and I
may never reach my destination. It takes me back to one of the roughest times
in my life when I was diagnosed with Endometriosis, when I did not know if I
could climb to the top of my life’s expedition.
In February of 2010, I was a senior in high
school. While everyone was deciding on what college to go to, along with what
they wanted to do after they graduated, I was at home trying to decide what
doctor I should see next and that he/she may be able to figure out what was
going on in my body. The intense burning in the pit of my stomach was unbearable
and I did not think that anyone could solve my medical mystery. I felt as
though I would live in agony for the rest of my life. Every night, I woke up
frightened, thinking I was going to die, or that I had some form of abysmal
cancer. They ran test after test with no
answer. My life was flipping upside down and I felt as if I was tumbling to the
bottom of a colossal mountain.
After
I graduated, I still had no answers. My family started to think I was imagining
the pain; the pain that I was enduring for so long. I was told countless times
by multiple doctors and the people I thought cared for me, that it was all in
my head. I finally decided to I take it upon myself to find answers. I frantically
searched the internet for information that could lead to my diagnosis. I viewed
several articles on “causes of abdominal pain in young women,” and I finally
found something that caught my attention. Web MD had information about a
disease called Endometriosis. “The name endometriosis comes from the word ‘endometrium,’
which is the tissue that lines the inside of the uterus. Endometriosis occurs
when tissue that looks and acts like endometrial tissue is found outside the
uterus, usually inside the abdominal cavity” (Web MD). The article stated the
different symptoms the disease could cause, and matched my symptoms perfectly
such as severe abdominal pain and lower back pain. As I read more about this, I
made an appointment to see my doctor and she confirmed that it was a good possibility
that this is what I had. In October, I had my first surgery that led to the
diagnosis of Endometriosis.
My fiancé was with me when I had the surgery as
well as when I had my post-operative appointment. We learned together that I
will be struggling with Endometriosis for the rest of my life. She explained
that it may be hard for us when we are ready to conceive. She said that it wasn’t
impossible, but we would have a lower chance than woman with no reproductive
diseases. Every little girl dreams of becoming a mother one day and when I
heard the news, I was heartbroken beyond belief. I know there are many different
options such as adopting or having a surrogate mother, but I had always
pictured the day I would give birth to my healthy baby boy or girl. I was
imagining his or her sparkling, blue eyes looking up at me while I pondered how
I could create such a beautiful little being. A hundred questions came rushing into my mind,
such as, “will I ever get to feel that feeling?” “will my fiancé leave me if I
can’t get pregnant?” “am I going to end up paying thousands of dollars in
fertility treatments?” and “Why is this
happening to me?”
I later discovered more physical problems that were
caused by my disease. I moved to Oklahoma from Texas to live closer to my fiancé’s
family and quickly realized that working as a waitress, eight hours on my feet,
was not practical. The pain was so excruciating and radiated throughout my
entire body making it almost impossible to stand. I had to quit my job after
three short months of working. Surprisingly, my fiancé’s mother offered me a
position working for her at home where I would not have to be on my feet all
day. I was very grateful for such a generous opportunity. However, after a few
months I felt very isolated. I did not know anyone in Oklahoma and working at
my mother in law’s house made it almost impossible to make friends. I became
depressed so I decided to try working for a daycare and I loved it. I got to
work with children and made a lot of great friends. It made me ecstatic to be
doing something that I loved, and being out of an office chair. Sadly, after a
few months my manager at the daycare was starting to get very annoyed with me
because I had to keep missing work for doctor’s appointments, or because the
pain was so bad that day that I could not even get out of bed. I was starting
to get embarrassed by the amount of times I called in, so I ended up putting in
my two weeks’ notice. After this I became to believe there was no hope for me
to get a real job outside my mother in law’s house. It was extremely upsetting
to think that I was going to have to sit inside of a tiny office for the rest
of my life. I dreamed of being a teacher at an elementary school one day but I
did not know how I could accomplish that if I cannot stay on my feet for longer
than thirty minutes.
After going through all these struggles, I never
thought I would overcome this disease and get passed all the difficulties it
has caused me. I am now happily married to my biggest supporter who has stood
by my side for three surgeries and beyond. My doctor thinks that our chances of
getting pregnant are pretty high since my Endometriosis has been improving so
we have begun trying for our first child. I am currently working with my mother in law
again where I have received a promotion and I can work at home or at the
company’s warehouse. I can now interact with people every day and it’s really
exciting to be sociable again. This is my first year of college and I am majoring
in Early Childhood Education, where I hope one day I can become a first grade
teacher. Staring at the bottom, not knowing how I was going to deal with this
disease, I slowly climbed my way up through the struggles and complications
that I did not think I could survive. I have not quite reached the top of where
I want to be, but I know now that if I do not give up and keep on climbing, I
will one day accomplish my life’s purpose.
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